"I've had it," she screamed, frail arms holding the weapon, "Every year it's the same thing. Every year, our bus stops at this stupid restaurant a bus tour and every year we stop at this stupid restaurant and get the same crummy sandwiches at the same ridiculous prices!"
"Hold it," said the waitress, "we don't allow weapons here. We're Canadians."
"Well I am not. I am from the good old USA. and can hold any d— weapon I please. So there, sweetie!"
The waitress rushed to the phone, but tripped over the orthopedic shoes of another pensioner who struck her umbrella, saying "take that, take that,"
The patrons made a rush to the door. Who knows farmers could be that speedy? We enjoyed the spectacle. You see,we are not allowed to carry guns. The government is afraid we will admit a mad dog killer into our house, show him our gun collection, and the drawer where we kept our bullets. I would not be surprised if they figured we would show the felons whose place to rob and "I won't tell the RCMP about you if you take care of Mr. So and So. He's been a pain in my existence!"
The Americans do not have that problem. The only people not allowed to carry guns are criminals, and insane person and that old lady looked pretty sane to me.
Yes, there she was, five foot nothing in a white straw hat, reading glasses, a pink rose printed rayon dress, a pale rose cardigan,and a large white vinyl purse with "San Francisco" on it, sallow face, white hair, and holding a forty five automatic
Yup, if I were the manager of this establishment, I would be scared too. I saw him scurrying around the back, trying to make it to the back door, which were blocked with various boxes of toilet paper.
When the police arrived and hauled the senior citizens off, we figured that justice had taken a back turn until the next day. As we put our bags in the car, we happened to glance at the headlines in the local paper.
Health Department Closes Down Restaurant. Dead Cats found in Back. Old Lady a Hero!
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